Today I had the honor of going to a fundraiser luncheon for Parenthood For Me, Inc. A brand new non-profit organization aimed at helping couples achieve their goal of having a child through offering financial assistance toward fertility treatment or adoption. Erica started this organization after experiencing years of infertility, and then finally getting her son through adoption. She realized the financial toll that these endeavors leave a new family with.
There was also a speaker, Dr. Rosalind Hayes, MD who spoke on the impact that infertility has on every aspect of life for the couple going through it. She talked about how it becomes difficult for those struggling with infertility to maintain healthy, normal relationships. These couples often become depressed because of the monthly emotional rollercoaster of hope, hope being crushed, and ultimately grief over another month of nothing. These couples often isolate and withdraw from others, because events are no longer fun to attend having to hear about everyone else's children. During her whole speech I was shaking my head saying 'yup, that's me'. It felt good to realize that it's not just me that is losing friendships, and at a loss for identity, because of my infertility.
The table I was sat at was awesome. There were 8 women, including me, and we had all undergone years of infertility and were, in some way, in the adoption process. We 'clicked'. We were the last table to leave after the event because we couldn't stop talking and connecting. At one point I thought to myself, 'Gosh, Infertility is my life. These people "get" me. I can be me and I can talk about my miscarriages and my babies that I miss and they understand and nod in agreement. They don't change the subject or get that awkward look about them, or say some faux paux like the general public would.' If I were to be in a similar situation sat at a table of complete strangers (say at a wedding or something) I would have felt completely out of place as they all talked about their kids. But not today. Today I was understood. Today I fit in. Today I was comfortable in my skin.
In this picture below Alison is the first in the front row. Erica is in the middle of the front row, and then I'm to the right of the front row. Another blogger, Lisa, is second from the right in the back row. And then Michelle is in the middle of the back row.
I feel so lucky to have been able to connect with these wonderful woman!
PS How sweet was my place setting card?!
So basically, since I got home from the luncheon I've been on a "high". My husband said, 'wow, it's great to see you so passionate!' as I was raving on and on about how happy I was that I attended this event today. And I said, 'Ya know, for so long when we go to events I feel like the odd-man-out while everyone is talking about their kids. But today, I fit in! And it felt great! I was in a room full of people that just "got" me!'
(If you couldn't tell I'm in a REALLY good mood right now. Need a favor? Now's a good time to ask! ;)
"A single moment of understanding can flood a whole life with meaning."
66 comments:
What a great opportunity. I had attended a SHARE conference a year ago and totally understand what you mean about being with people who 'get you' and I don't have to apologize or cover up or hide anything.
I don't have any favors to ask.. but I was out somewhere yesterday and saw a woman with an orange coat and totally thought of you ;0)
I am so glad you were able to connect with others and feel understood. You deserve it!
PS- I noticed that Blue Violet disappeared too. Hoping everything is okay. If you hear anything, please let us know.
Nice to connect with like minded people.
Sounds like a wonderful day! If only it was a common event to be surrounded by so many people who get it.
Thanks for the new blogs to check out!
That is beyond wonderful! It can really just brighten your outlook on life when you feel like you aren't drifting off to sea by yourself.
Sounds like a wonderful day. I've been to the parenthood website a few times-sounds like a wonderful thing they have going on! I need to check it out again!
That is so nice! You look great! SAmia just send you a kiss when she saw the video!
That is so great :)
Happy for you!!
Wow! I am glad you had a good time.. and how neat that we have new bloggy friends!!
I am dying for your adoption to go through.. I cannot wait!!
I'm so glad this organization exists. We spent years thinking we couldn't have a baby, and stressing that adoption was financially impossible for us.
I am SO glad you had a good time and clicked with the women at your table. It was great to meet you and I am glad that you live close by. I appreciate your offer to help out and will let you know if I need you. I had a great time today and feel it was a success. Thank you for posting about PFM.
I saw that you mentioned blue violet. I notice now that she hasn't been around. That is really scary and disturbing. I too hope she is okay. Let me know if you hear anything.
So glad you found some friends with common issues and had a good time too.
Hmmm...My bestie in Pa's last name is the same as yours. What a small world.
Hey YaYa! Thanks for the link to my blog! I loved meeting you today, too. It was a great group. So easy to talk to people who "get it."
So glad this was a great experiance for you! Also I just wanted to let you know i'm getting a handdel on some of the things we talked about, i am in the process of putting my story on my blog, there are 2 chapters up now. hope you are doing well, i need to go through old posts and read i've been gone too long!
First, I'm glad you posted that note about Bule Violet. Let me know if you hear anything, will you?
And it's always so great to be around women who are just like you, regardless of what that is. That's why I love doing bloggy meet and greets. They love it just as much as me, and get it!
What a great day to spend a day. I emailed the person in question but I have not heard from her either. I hope she is fine.
I'm glad you had such an enjoyable time and I LOVE the placecard!! LOL!
I'm so glad you made such a great connection with other women who are enduring the same trials as you.
I'm so sorry you have to go throught this. I am always thinking of you and hoping for your dreams to come true!
Nope no favors:)
But that is wonderful that you have made more friends and you looked happy in the picture.
I had emailed blueviolet a day after she deleted her blog and she said that she was done blogging and that she has been thinking about it for some time. She said that she would still visit other peoples blogs and giveaways but under a different name. She said she was okay.
How wonderful! It helps to have support, in many ways!
How could it not be your life? It's totally understandable. What a great feeling to be a part of something.
I am so glad you had a positive experience and met others who are or have been in your situation. It is nice to connect with people who "get" you.
what a great opportunity and you looking simply fab! yes what happened to blue violet miss her!
Well, though we havent been through it here, we can ALL stil listen to you and continue to support you! Its great though to have a place to vent your frustration!
Hey there, I can feel from your post that you really are in a good mood. I'm so glad to hear this and that everything is going right for you. Good luck!
As for me, I have my own project. April is Child Abuse Awareness. I am actually planning of making a video about it and as well as General Abuse toward Men and Women. ^_^
Good to hear you connect with a room full of people finally. You needed the uplift. And ya cute and teens not a good word combo!
Wow - sounds like a wonderful time!! I am glad you got to connect with so many great women!!
YaYa! There's nothing better than feeling comfortable in your own skin:) I had goosebumps while reading this...I could feel your joy as I read your post!
What a wonderful day spent with an amazing group of people!
Thank you so much for sharing your journey with us. I, for one, know many friends that have been inspired and comforted by your honesty.
(Love that quote!)
So glad that you had such a nice time and what a fantastic organization to attend a fundraiser for. The financial toll can be overwhelming. And I never did fertility treatments I can only imagine where the finances go in that.
How nice for you to have found a little group. It can be so hard when you are the only one without (or with) kids. Nothing to say.
It is always great to connect with people, with whom you share a common goal with. I am so happy for you. I can feel your good mood in your words.
Hugs and Mocha,
Stesha
I'm so glad this event presented itself to you and that it ended up being such a positive experience! It does help when you can find others you can relate to and who can relate to you, as well. Oh, and I would love for my kitchen to be painted (hint, hint)! Happy Monday!
Happy to see you happy! :)
I'm so glad you had a great time and met some amazing woman!!!
i wanna be at your table...boo! jk. well, i'm glad you all connected and what a great thing!!!
What an amazing experience for you. I am so happy that you had such a great time and met some ladies that you could connect with on that level. I am so happy for you!!
I am so glad you had a good time and got a chance to feel connected with other women. So happy for you!
I'm so glad you had such a great afternoon and were able to connect with other women that totally 'got you'. It's a little different for me...but for years I felt like the 'odd man out' being a single parent...everyone around me was married. I know it's not the same thing...but I feel like I 'get you' even though I don't struggle with infertility.
I am so happy that you found a place where you "fit in" and can be your true self and find the support and love and understanding you need. As much as others may try to empathize with you, I'm sure it is not the same as finding others who GET everything you are going through. I'm so happy for you ... sounds like a great organization!
And by the way, thanks for the update on Blue Violet. I've been wondering. She had told me a few times she was thinking about quitting her blog but I didn't think she would do it so abruptly. Probably became so overwhelming. Glad to hear she is OK.
How awesome to talk with other women and have your world be NORMAL. It hurts to become distant from long-term friends, but it's a blessing that in going through IF we make new ones.
That's fantastic! :)
I'm so glad you had such a positive time and met some great ladies who understood completely.
I'm really happy for you that you were able to connect so well with these ladies. Hopefully they will become a new support system for you so you won't feel quite so alone. Sounds like a wonderful cause.
That so great! I'm so glad that you had such a possitive experience. I love when days or events like that happen you get all energized.
Thanks BTW for the update on blue violet. I'm glad she's OK.
I'm so happy you found a new niche! Hooray for new friends!
I'm smiling uncontrollably for you right now. I hope you can keep in touch with them.
I'm so glad you got to attend this event, and I hope this foundation really will make a difference! You never know, you may have just forged lifelong friendships with some of these women. I hope you're going to keep in touch and keep getting together. It'd do you a world of good to have someone that totally understands you, aside from Josh.
I only wish that you wouldn't simply identify yourself as an infertile woman. Don't you realize how much more you have to offer? You are not just your ovaries and your inability to bear children. You're making an impact on the world, children or not and you should value that about yourself. And you WILL be a parent, one way or the other!!!
Justine :o )
Btw... I do hope blueviolet is doing well. I too emailed her and heard back from her only once. I had just gotten to know her and was so sad when she deleted.
Justine :o )
Hello Yaya! It was wonderful to meet you at the luncheon. Isn't it refreshing to be in a social situation and know that you can talk about infertility and adoption and know that people will "get" you? None of those awkward silences or half-hearted consolations. I love it! Although the speaker brought up feelings (for all of us) that we weren't expecting, it felt wonderful to be a part of a community that has shared the same experiences.
BTW, thanks for linking to my blog. I'll do the same. I hope we can get together again soon! Hang in there, sister. I have a feeling we'll get our calls soon. ;-)
Sounds like a really great luncheon to attend. And, you met some other great girls. I am happy you got the opportunity to go.
Sooooo happy for you hun!! You look and sound so wonderful and that's really great to see!
Big hugs!
What an awesome conference and I'm so happy for you that you found some great new friends who can really understand what your life is like.
What a great organization! Glad you had a great time and connected with other women going down the same road. You have your connections here, but it is a great feeling to know that you're not alone IRL!
What a great cause. As a woman that as had a few medical problems, been trying to conceive for over a year, and running low on hope this is a great hope for me. Hope that I may be able to adopt and not go into financial turmoil. Thanks for stopping by my blog this week.
Thank you for your kind words on my blog. I have been reading your blog and frankly speaking, what a gift you will be to a child, you are going to make an incredible mom.
I am so happy for you! Visiting from the Parenthood for Me blog and so glad I did. Great picture, you are beautiful!
That's such a great cause! Bet you're super happy to be a part of it!
Rub your happy off on me. I need it.
Good for you! I'm so glad you got that connection:)
What a cool opportunity. And it must feel great to get together with a bunch of nice people who understand where you're coming from!
That looks like a great opportunity!
Thanks for visiting my blog!
I am so happy for you that you were able to attend and meet some nice people who can really understand what you are going trough!
I had so much fun at the luncheon. I am so glad to meet you and I look forward to following your story through your blog. We'll have to plan another get together.
Janet
Sounds like a very awesome experience and SO SO SO AWESOME that you were able to connect with some ladies that "got you". I'm really happy for you! =)
I also noticed that Blue Violet is gone. I've wondered about her so if you have info you're able to share, I'd appreciate it since she just was *poof* gone. =(
That is great! I think we all know what it feels like to be left out at one time or another. But almost every where you go feeling that way is awful. I am so glad that you found Erica and this group. Yaya I think it is going to be really good for you!!
It's nice to know you belong.
I'm so happy for you!!! And judging from your latest post, it must have been quite empowering!!
Alicia,
I'm so, so glad you enjoyed the fundraiser (which I knew you would based on what you told me going in).
I just added the logo for Parenthood For Me to my blog and I popped in to say hello to the 3 bloggers who sat at your table (on their blogs).
I popped over to Erica's blog and she had blogged about the EFA endo situation! I guess we were thinking about each other at the same time.
Thanks for the great post. It's so nice to hear you happy, excited, and passionate. :) You sound like me after an endometriosis support group meeting.
Great post!
Jeanne
xo
Life is wonderful when you connect with like minded folks! I'm so glad you had a great time. It's impressive what Erika has done with PFM in such little time. I wish her the best of luck - it's a cause many, many people can relate too.
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