14-yr-old "Anna"
3/4/09
This evening was our first visit to our house from the Adoption Agency. This has been months in the making with us purging and getting projects done around the house to get ready for this moment.
We had the false assumption that they would come in with a white glove to check the place. I asked them when they came and they assured me (while laughing) that no white glove test is used in the home study. Phew-Have you seen my ceiling fan blades lately? Oh...well...don't look.
This was just the "initial visit" where basically they are coming to make sure we do, in fact, have a house and that we do have a bed for the future child we will adopt. We showed them around the house. They checked for smoke detectors, carbon monoxide detector, etc. Then we sat down while they asked if we had any questions about the class and/or homestudy process. We talked for a bit.
*No toothpaste tubes were harmed in the making of this blog post.
We had the false assumption that they would come in with a white glove to check the place. I asked them when they came and they assured me (while laughing) that no white glove test is used in the home study. Phew-Have you seen my ceiling fan blades lately? Oh...well...don't look.
(Quick, change the subject so people forget we have dirty ceiling fans....)
Here is a picture of me before they came (I hope Julia isn't looking at my two different-sized pupils now that I told her about them):
I was rushing around the house tidying up real quick (I only had about 10 minutes between when I got home and when they were showing up). I was very anxious but I went against my better judgement and decided not to do a few shots of tequila.
I made sure the pillows were straight, Are they straight? Wait, now they're straight. Oh, let me grab the level. Okay, perfect.
I was rushing around the house tidying up real quick (I only had about 10 minutes between when I got home and when they were showing up). I was very anxious but I went against my better judgement and decided not to do a few shots of tequila.
I made sure the pillows were straight, Are they straight? Wait, now they're straight. Oh, let me grab the level. Okay, perfect.
Josh left his clothes hanging out of his hamper!
That Josh! How dare he!
Okay, all set. Here they are.
This was just the "initial visit" where basically they are coming to make sure we do, in fact, have a house and that we do have a bed for the future child we will adopt. We showed them around the house. They checked for smoke detectors, carbon monoxide detector, etc. Then we sat down while they asked if we had any questions about the class and/or homestudy process. We talked for a bit.
We still have 3 more visits. Two are more of interview type visits where they'll ask us about our innermost personal details, and then the last one is a walk-through to make sure we have everything to code with the fostering guidelines. Let me give you a few examples from the actual Inspection Check List (I know I'm often sarcastic, but the following are for-real, for-real):
-Rubbish kept in covered cans? (what? I can't leave it laying the backyard??)
-No portable space heaters (But I love my Spacey!)
-Closet doors unlock from the inside (Well there goes that discipline method...)
-Bedroom furniture at least 2 feet apart? (WTF??)
-Does bedroom natural light equal at least 10% of bedroom floor space? (Shoot, I think we're at 9%)
-Is there a lavatory? (Does that bush count?)
But seriously, she said we're doing really well and are ahead of the game with paperwork and house stuff. Yay! You know me, the "over-achiever"!
Here are the "after" pictures:
"Every house where love abides
And friendship is a guest,
Is surely home, and home sweet home
For there the heart can rest."
~Henry Van Dyke
And friendship is a guest,
Is surely home, and home sweet home
For there the heart can rest."
~Henry Van Dyke
*No toothpaste tubes were harmed in the making of this blog post.
143 comments:
Woo hoo...got that one behind you! You really crack me up...in light of all you've been through, you are somehow able to maintain your sense of humor. I think that's so great! Glad to hear that things keep moving forward!
Hi again
Glad to hear that all went well...I can't imagine how nervous you must have been feeling!
Good luck with the future visits and I agree with April - the way you manage to stay positive and up beat is inspiring.
Take care, N x
Yay! Another step in the right direction. I am so glad things are moving along for you. It won't be long....
Yay!!! Glad it went so well. That has to be a relief and make you feel good!!!!!
Hi! I'm dropping by via SITS.
Glad your first home visit went well! I really like your blog and am off to explore it more!
Happy Thursday!
Yahoo! Another step forward. Hopefully the rest will fly by quickly.
DANG FLABBIT!!! Baby Chicklet is so proud!! :)
One more step down in your incredible journey!
YAY YOU (and Josh, of course!)
I am so glad it went well but we all knew it would. Now the others wont be as bad.
Good luck girl.....you're in our prayer's. Hey.....there's nothing wrong with being an over-acheiver :)
Steady On
Reggie Girl
Glad that things went well. Just a few more hurdles! Keep it going!
one step closer......
Don't sweat it out too much! I'm sure you two are doing great. This thing with the natural light in the bedroom....They don't even make sure school class rooms get that much natural light!
=^..^=
OMG that so brings me back to our homestudy days. It was such a let down when they left. I wonder if they relish in the fact that we freak out every waking minute until they arrive? Glad to hear that all went well. Good luck!
Hahaha you're funny! Good way to live life. I think I would be really that nervous too.
I hope this works out, I think it's a great thing to adopt.
We might adopt sometime in the future so I will visit you more often to learn about the preparation you are doing to prepare for this;)
You are hilarious! Loved the pictures, especially the capless toothpaste tube - glad to here it wasn't harmed in the making of your blog post...LOL!! Look at you - only 4 more classes and 3 more in home visits...you're well on your way! I am so excited for you! ((HUGZ!))
Hey,
I have worried about RAD too. I know someone that adopted a nine year old boy who is now in his thirties and it has been just heartbreaking watching them try and try.
You are hysterical - so glad that it went well for you! Our bedroom furniture is definitely not 2 feet apart - so we're out!
Glad to hear that things are going well...Good luck! :)
I am so happy it went well for you I am doing a happy dance. I got your card yesterday thank you! You didn't have to throw the extra in. But thank you I am so glad you liked the cards.
Why are there no glasses of alcohol in that "after" photo. And the natural light % - what are you supposed to do if it isn't? Crazy.
Sounds like it went great. I like the tie. :-)
lol, I am glad that part is over and done. Now, to just make it through the rest of it!
So happy that it went well - another step you can check off the list! You look so relaxed in that last photo.
You crack me up!!!
Yay....one step further!
Loved all your photos as usual.
YAY! I'm so excited for you guys! I'm sure you'll pass with flying colors!
Movin' right along!!! That's fantastic. I'm sure the interviewer walked out of the house, got in their car, and immediately put a shiny gold star by your name. I'm pretty sure that you two are exactly the type of people that the foster/adoption system is looking for.
((happy hugs))
yay!!!!! Things are moving right along!! Hang in there...it is almost over!!
Yay- another thing you can cross off of your list
Hi there! I'm stopping by from SITS. I had no idea that adoption agencies cared about the distance between your bedroom furniture! I wish you the best of luck with your adoption journey :)
You are hilarious. And I would so fail that test, any of those tests, and I would sit at home and cry big tears of failure, because my home is so far from anything required that it would take me 3 lifetimes to get it in order...You GO GIRL!!!
You didn't offer the inspector a taste of the bread and water that you may be feeding this kid? It is just Un-believable what they are putting you through. You definately have to put all this together in a book like a "What to Expect When You're Expecting to Adopt" kind of thing.
YAY! One step closer! You will have a little one running around before you know it!
Good, I was thinking maybe that wasn't the time to mention that you like to kick people in the balls:)
I am so happy it went so smoothly!! I would of failed though, my furniture doesn't have 2 ft around, I live in a small house, things are crammed in here.
I would be nervous too... glad it all went well... did your husband really wear a tie? Cute!
HURRAY! I'm so pleased it went well. I'm a bit disappointed about the white glove, though. That would have been kind of...
well, anal. But amusing.
Good luck to you and your family! I gave you an award over on my blog. Check it out when you have time.
Why don't they do that with "new parents"? I would probably have my children taken away, though if they saw my house! LOL! Seriously, though, I'm better than I used to be, but I'm still not a neat freak. :)
I'm sure I've said it before, but it just baffles my mind how good people who would make good parents have to go through so much to get a child and then there are idiots who should NOT be parents, and they can have them! I mean, gosh, those are the people who should have home visits, making sure they put garbage in the garbage... I should tell you a story about a girl I used to know (maybe in an email, if you want to know, just email me, but you probably don't want to know, it'll make your blood boil!)
anyhoo, I'm glad your visit went well and I hope things continue to go well for you!
hmm usually when I post a comment, it tells me it has gone through to moderation, it didn't this time... so hopefully it went through!
Thank goodness you really did not tell them about IG. You had me going for a moment. Did Ella's picture ever make it through?
Was the first "after" picture "after" a shot of tequila? ;) Sounds like you did great. (I think I would have been just the same way about making sure the house was spotless!)
Yippee! Sounds like things are moving forward! I LOVE your photos that document your before and after! You guys are stinkin' cute! Another fabulous post!
Between the pupils and the testicle talk, you guys might be pressing your luck.
I know every homestudy is different for each state. But, I can't believe they ask those kind of questions and come to your house that often. I don't think we would have passed. Good luck. :)
Yippee! Next week, have some homemade bread and fresh churned butter out for them.
(2 feet apart and natural light?) I am screwed on those two)
It sounds like things went really well!
yay! i'm so glad it went well yesterday! i know how excited you must have been when she said you were ahead of the game, we're both anal in that department! hopefully knowing that you're ahead of the game makes it a little less nerve racking for the next 2 times! i'm so proud of you and josh for not only going through this exciting process! not only that, but doing fertility treatments as well! you go all out girl! full steam ahead with operation yaya & josh + one!
Does bedroom natural light equal at least 10% of bedroom floor space?
WHAT?!?
I am sooo glad no toothpatse was harmed. I was a little worried at first...
i remember when my girlfriend had her home inspection for their adoption... she was so stressed. After they left I took her out for drinks :) It seemed to help.
I am glad it went well!!!
loved the photo log of preparing for the meeting
LOL ball kicking might not be the best topic on one of these inspections...but you guys are so cute...how could they resist you!
Im kinda lost on the sunlight and spacing of furniture requirement.
I wonder if I would pass? lol!
You are too funny. I would never pass that test because I don't even know what that means...10% of floor space? I didn't take advanced math classes. Lavatory? Why do you need a lavatory? Are you having a test tube baby? I keed, I keed.
I am so happy...is seems is getting closer the big day!!!
Wow that checklist sure is something!
You look so much less stressed in your after pictures.
Yay for no white gloves!!! I would pass today... but tomorrow? No....
I'm glad things went well! But seriously, clothes hanging out of the hamper? You should just kill Josh now!
Just wanted to say thanks for visiting my Tipsy page! Good luck with the adoption and don't for get to keep the lid on the rubbish can! My sis went through the whole fertility process. It took her 7 years for her girl and 9 years for her boy. I think it is great you are adopting! I know 4 people who got pregnant after they adopted.
Love your GASP picture! And WTF about the 10% of light covering the room or whatever? Who decides on these guidelines, or rules or whatever ya call em? Seriously funny!
You are one step closer to having my neice or nephew come home - can't wait to meet them! Some of those home study rules are out there.
Sounds like a successful first visit! Whoo-hoo!!
BTW, you look great in orange! I have 2 sweaters I just love that color and my hubby absolutely hates them. What does he know?!?
Yay! I'm so glad that things went well! It's totally obvious that you guys would be the best parents and any child would be lucky to get you.
They don't really specify that the furniture is two feet apart do they?!
I love all your "facial expression" photos - haha they are great. I would be totally nervous too!
Now I'm off to read about the idiot guy and maybe I'll want to kick him in the gonads as well.
Is it totally weird that I am so freakin' excited for you guys! AAAAGGGGHHHH....I can't wait for all the awesome-ness that will come to you!
I remember killing myself cleaning the house making sure everything was perfect. They didn't even really care about looking around the house. It was a very quick once over. In one sense I was relieved but then I was pissed for putting all that time into cleaning the house.
{{HUGS}} Congrats!! Sounds like it went well (for the most part)... YEAH!!!!
I am glad it went well!
Love your orange sweater!
You have a great sense of humor, but I imagine you have to with all you have to go through. God be with you!
*laffin* Very funny. Love the pix you added!
You're getting so close and it's getting so exciting! I'm donating to your cause!
Congratulations on step 1 down and from all appearances - done well.
I love your "checklist" with the personal comments.
I can't wait for you to start a post with "We'd like to introduce our child ....... "
The first one down - it's just cake from here on out, right? ;) You guys are putting forth such an effort, I'd tell you how worth it it's gonna be in the end, but you already know all that.
Why didn't you talk about Idiot Guy? Do they have a problem with ball-kicking? Huh.
You're going to be such a good mommy!
oh man all this would have me popping xanax...and maybe you could share your tequila too:)
wow, I think I failed all of those questions!!!
Except the lavatory---I do have that.
I had no idea there were closets with locks that unlock from the inside...two sided locks? I am so out of it!!!
I hope that no one discovers I am a mother with a space heater! :)
Yes! I am so excited for you! You keep getting closer and closer girl. Loved your pics!
Do they really really check for a bathroom???? Okay then....
I am patiently waiting for "Hope"...get with it girl...i am on pins and needles here
You DO look much more relaxed after! LOL! 2 feet apart??!! But I like a night stand next TO the bed?!!!
SUPER cute photos of you and Josh. Truly an amazing relationship that you have with that guy of yours.
-Francesca
This was hilarious! I enjoyed visiting. I love the reality blogs (smile).
Glad it went well!!
I am really curious as to how you figure out the natural light ratio...
Maybe you didn't TALK about Idiot Guy and what should happen to his balls...but I'll bet you thought about it ;)
All parents are not neat freaks, you don't need to worry sooo much! When you get this kid, they want to know that you don't have drugs out, sharp objects, poison, or large things that they could climb up and jump off of out!
yeah, how exiting your first visit done.....I remember how stressed out I was for our first homevisit...and it turned out just fine.....
now you can well sort of relax for the next ones...:)
m :)
Goood job you two:) Sounds like everything is going smoothly.
You can't use space heaters!? What about those artic freezing cold days when the temperature is below zero and the house heater isn't enough? No fair:)
No space heaters? Our caseworker really was lacking in skill I guess.That or the fact she was too busy trying to flirt with dh ,honestly.I remember she asked him in our one on one interviews if he ever thought of cheating on me.She didnt ask me that.She was strange.
We are about to start our second adoption,our son who is 3 now we adopted at birth.My husband and I tried over 10 years to conceive with losses but no full term or births.
I remember before we were blessed with our beautiful son I would get so mad at people wanting to adopt again.I thought you have one child already I have none.The second adoption yearning is just as strong as the first I realize that now.I want a baby so bad!
Anyway I have been through adoption once and thought after all the years of trying I would never become a mommy.I just was always the person who didn't get what they wanted.It happened though so keep the faith.If you ever have any questions or just want to talk or vent,holler at me.
We don't know each other but have alot in common.Plus I'm a really good listner ;).
Hi! I just wanted to wish you luck with your adoption! My husband and I are getting our home study visit today and I am soooo nervous. Your blog made me laugh because I was being neurotic about pillows too! Good luck.
Alicia,
Congratulations on being featured on Scrapbook My Adoption!
Jeanne
Okay, I know this is a way old post but I had to comment because it CRACKED me up! :-D My hubby and I just had our first homestudy, and I can totally relate. Totally! :-D
I so remember our home study before we adopted our two girls - talk about nerves - we had a pool without a fence around it - we were going to get it done.. I was amazed she did not say a word about it..
BTW - I am happy to say - adoption made me a mom and I thank God everyday for my two girls..
Good luck to you.
Love,
Kelly
http://www.ivebecomemymother.com
If only now you could get those caseworkers to return your calls!
Enjoying your SITS day? I'm so glad you haven't turned bitter with all that you have been through...stay you!
Awwww.... good luck with the adoption thing. Sounds like you're ticking all their boxes! Shouldn't be long now!
Happy SITS day.
LBM xxxx
I think a child would be really happy in your home. :-)
Who cares about the house - it's all about the HOME. Good luck!
They really ask those questions?! Amazing. I hope you're having a great SITS Day and birthday.
I think it's sad how difficult it seems to be for good families to adopt children who need a good home. I wish you the best of luck!!
Good luck to you - you will make an awesome mommy.
I loved this post the first time around and love it still! :)
Happy SITS Day - and Happy Birthday!!
Still keeping you in my thoughts and prayers! ;)
My gosh..they are strict..a lavatory?? who even calls it that now a days..??
..
we have our annual..well..annually..and some of the things my worker checks for..
mold..(ya..ok..i'm going have mold in my tub..knowing you're looking for it)
rotting meat..she opens the garbage up and says to me..' just making sure there is no rotting meat?
she also checks their drawers and closets..its annoying..but i do it for my kids.
good luck ya ya..as always..you are in my prayers
Happy SITS day! Happy Birthday!
What a weird list of do's and don'ts. Glad you breezed through that interview!
I hope you get the kids soon. I can't imagine how stressful a process that must be.
Interesting post! They sure make you jump through a lot of hoops, don't they? I never heard of closets with locks on them, I never had one of these kind. Well, I take that back. Just the other day my one cat got into our basement closet which does have a hooky-thingy to lock it so I guess we do have some that you could technically say lock. The cat couldn't get out until I came looking for her and let her out.
Congrats on your SITS day!
good luck with everything! We lost our first baby, and I was mad that some irresponible person could get knocked-up, but the ggod people on this earth who want to adopt have to have thier bedroom furniture 2 feet apart.
At least you were able tohide the space heater under the bed right?
Happy SITS day!
Hmmm, no one told me I wasn't regulation-ok with my kids. I didn't realize that on top of trying to raise decent, healthy kids I had to measure the spacing of their bedroom furniture and amount of sunlight in the room. The bathroom I can see, since they seem to dance around looking like their heads are going to explode when they have to go and can't seem to figure out where to go. You're definitely starting out better prepared than I did, so here's to happy kid-filled days ahead!! Happy SITS Day!
I hope the process is still going well for you. It sounds like you're going to be a great mom. :-)
stopping by from sits - glad your first visit went well :)
Good Job...nice and tidy. Wanna come clean my house?
Happy SITS Day!
I am going to have to follow you now...you are too funny to not see every day! LOL>
Dropping by from SITS. Congrats on your day.
Are you serious??? Really? Those were some of the questions they asked? And I thought the main thing was to provide a loving family. .. go figure
sweetjeanette.blogspot.com
Visiting from SITS. We've been on the adoption road for 4 years. I remember how nerve racking that first home study was! I wish you best of luck with your adoption(s)!!!
Love the before and after pics:) You are honestly funny. Best wishes to you and your hubby in filling your home with children. You'll be an excellent mom.
Congrats on your success.
But I must say that while I appreciate they are looking out for the needs and welfare of the child, why aren't these sorts of inspections done before birth parents take their little ones home? Perhaps a lot of children would be spared a lot of pain.
Just my 2 cents.
WTH is it with the 10% light??
Geez, my poor kids. I think I failed almost every question they asked.
I love your wit and humor. Great photos! Some kids are going to be very, very lucky to have you two as parents.
Stopping by from SITS,
Jenn @ rookno17.blogspot.com
Oh my gosh!.....I never noticed it before. You do have two different-sized pupils.
:-D
Good luck with the adoption, that's great that you're ahead of the game. I think it's such a great thing to adopt, I strongly believe in it. All the best for you both! And happy SITS day!
well I don't envy you, it is very stressful going through all these interviews etc, I guess the end result will be well and truly worth it, and that will be your focus. I think you are going to do really well and I'll follow your blog now to see how you go (btw, both my kids are IVF) - hope that gives you some encouragement (not that you sound like you need it!) haha
(sits)
I think you will be the best, funnest mom around:)
I can't even imagine what that's got to feel like! Thanks for sharing!
Great post! You are very funny! Good luck with the adoption process! As an adoptee myself I think it's an admirable thing to do, and you seem to have great spirit and love to give to someone that really needs it! Happy B-day and Happy SITS day!!
Anna - Dallas tx
we had to put all of our cleaning products including shampoo and conditioner in upper cabinets. Pain in the butt when you forget to get them out!
So just how do you measure 10% of sunlight?
I am sure you will rock out all of your inspections/interviews. It is amazing to me that they are so particular about the adopting families. No one would remove a child from a home if they didn't meet those requirements.
What funny questions! 10% light? Furniture 2ft apart? Well, good luck and happy SITS day :)
I luvz u Mz Yaya! Ur hilarious!
Happy Birthday!
I'm so happy for you guys....I'm glad that it all worked out, even though the lid was off the toothpaste. LOL You will definitely be such a great mom! Your house will be the one where all the kids on the street flock to.:)
Over from SITS to say hello.
Sounds like your first visit went well. Good luck with your adoption.
From sits! Love the post and I happy things went well. A child will be so blessed to be in your home.
10%? Of the Floor? What? lol. So...if the rooms didnt meet that criteria, you would be denied? Sheesh. Anyway, seems like you handled it just fine- I hope some our nation's kids find a home with you! They deserve it, and it seems like you do too!
-Robin
www.robingillis.blogspot.com
You are going to be a fabulous Mommy, hopefully one day really soon.
:)
Good luck in your adoption process.
I've always wanted to be a foster parent.
Sooo, are they measuring the natural light and figuring it out on a calculator? Funny the "rules" they come up with, isn't it?
I'm happy your visit went well. Wish you the best for the future visits, as well.
***Ally
Happy SITS Day & Birthday!
I am so glad your visit went well. I love how you are able to keep your humor through it all.
Good luck on those future visits.
Happy SITS day!
Congratulations on your SITS day, birthday, AND keeping your sense of humor while jumping the hoops in the adoption process. I knew there were rules and criteria, but, sheese--natural light quotas? Space between the furniture? Like that will happen once the room is inhabited by an actual child! There'll be toys everywhere! Hope that day comes soon for you and your husband. It looks from here like you'll be great!
my mom was a foster parent when I was a teenager so I know about the whole interview process etc. It can be very intimidating. You sound like such a wonderful outgoing person I am sure you passed with flying colors.
Glad your visit went well. Guess I will have to poke around your blog some more and see if you got passed.
Happy SITS day!
I wonder if there has ever not been a lavatory?
Hilarious psot! I know exactly what you mean - I was like that every time a social worker showed up! Good look on your adoption! I am so glad we done with this process!
I'm crossing my fingers for you. I think the orange sweater was a good choice.
Okay, late from SITS..
first of all.. love the dancing. it makes me laugh. I wanted more. and i especially love the pajama one.
Also, home visits are stupid. Its like any stupid person who can get pregnant can have a kid, then someone who wants one has to have people inspect their homes. This seem so stupid to me.
I say forget the birth mother. Annoying.
And I wish for your sake that something better happens for your pregnancies this coming season! Good luck.
Oh, and make a catagories section in your side bar so i can read more stuff but not necessarily in order.
Hugs. Go dance. !!! Now.
I am still shaking my head atthe no space heaters!!
Oh, I hated going through those visits. I WAYYYYY over cleaned. The lady barely looked around.
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