14-yr-old "Anna"
Here is our reaction after tonight's class...Oy. These. Classes. Suck. Big. Time.
First of all, it's all common sense. Second of all, the instructors don't know what the heck they are doing.
*Edit-Rant that was here has been deleted*
Anyways, phew, I feel a bit better after that rant (and my punching-the-couch therapy).
But, seriously, I wanna quit. This class is stupid. I hate that it's "the system" that we have to go through to have a child we so desperately want. I wish that we could just get pregnant and have a baby and not have to deal with this political go-through-the-system shit. I wish that I had the money to not have to even do this system because if I had money I could hire a private attorney and do a private adoption with a birth mom. It's not fair that undeserving people have kids and then mistreat them and don't appreciate them.
Right now, this system, is not what I love. I literally had to walk out of class at one point because I almost had a panic attack bc they once again split Josh and I up as partners for an activity. Maybe they didn't realize we are there AS A COUPLE? We are in this TOGETHER. So why the hell do they keep splitting us up for activities?! Argh!
Can I continue this course? I need to sleep on it. I'm seriously considering taking a zillion mortgages out to do the private adoption option.
I don't know how on earth I can get through the next 8 weeks.
I wish I left the classes feeling hopeful and being that much closer to my future child, but at this point I'm leaving irritated and agitated.
Yes, I'm on the verge of tears.
"Those who are too smart to engage in politics are punished by being governed by those who are dumber." -Plato
55 comments:
I feel so bad for you guys! I wish I had a zillion dollars to give you to help, but I don't:0( Hang in there!
YAYA....YOU CAN DO IT! I'm not meaning to yell at you, but to encourage.
You can do this. It's only 8 more classes. Then you are DONE! And one step closer to holding your baby.
Again, You CAN Do This!!
You are so strong, Alicia! Hang in there!
I LOVE that you said that if in February someone visits your blog they have to leave a comment! I WILL!!! lol!!
Big hugs girl.
You can do it. I know it is frustrating and aggravating, but you can do it.
I know my MIL had to take these classes for her adoptions and yes, she too complained. Maybe get you some happy pills to help you though it. I have Ativan on me at all times.
Prayers
Somewhere along the line - it will all be worth it.
Hang in there!
Oh dear. I'm so sorry that these classes are so trying for you. That being said, DON'T give up!! You can get through this. Think about the hardest class you ever took. Think about the hardest thing you've ever done physically. Think about your struggle with infertility. I'm sure there have been many times when you thought you couldn't keep going, but you did. As much as the classes suck (and I'm sure they do) YOU CAN DO IT. Start a countdown. Maybe come up with a fun reward at the end of each class. Give the crazy people in the class nicknames and laugh about your inside jokes the whole time. Just do ANYTHING you can to make it through. It's only 8 more classes. You can do almost ANYTHING 8 more times!!
Get a good night sleep... Maybe things will look a little rosier in the morning...
((hugs)) sorry to hear about dumb classes!! !
Oh I wish there was a way I could help! Only thing I can say is hang in there 8 more weeks, I know it feels like an eternity but it will be over soon :)
Sorry you're going through all this. *HUGZ*
Glad to see, however, that Im not the only one that uses the "punch the stuffing outta the sofa" therapy....it really DOES help (and no one gets hurt).
You guys look better than you did last week.
Hang in there..you have 8 classes left, and next week, there will be 7 left, then 6, so don't quit!
First, I have to say how much I am loving the support you are getting. Everyone here ROCKS!
I am new to your blog, but I am impressed with your strength and your courage. You can do this! I know you can.
Sending you prayers and good wishes. Hang in there. I am rooting for you.
So sorry, Yaya! You are one strong trooper for even going to that second class! I don't think I would have been able to gag my wan through another one.
That said, girl if I had a few hundred thou to give you I would! {{{HUGS}}
I am sorry these classes suck and are trying. You are strong! You can do it! Go to acupunture tomorrow. Don't stop!
Do they have you fill out a comment sheet after each class? If so, complain. Tell them you are there as a couple to work together.
I am sorry things aren't going smoothly.
{{Hugs}}
Gonna have to find your happy place and stay there for the duration.
Can you fiegn stomach flu and spend the time in the ladies room reading a good book?
you can get through these Yaya! You will be a great mom and just have to get through all the red tape stuff first!
Seriously, you can get through it. It is really just a speck of time in comparison to the rest of the time you will have with YOUR OWN kid! :)
you can do it, don't take out a morgage. you'll regret it.
the system is a total BETCH.
That sounds miserable, but I KNOW you deserve a child and that it WILL happen. Awful classes are dreadful, but the total of 30 hours (right?) is such a small percentage of the time you will have with your child someday. It will be absolutely worth it, I'm sure. And whoever you adopt will be so very lucky.
"Best wishes" sounds so cliche, but nevertheless-- I'm sending you all the very best wishes I can think of: for love, for patience, and (of course) for a child sooner rather than later.
Only 8 more weeks of punching the couch therapy! Your baby is TOTALLY worth it, not that's he/she is not worth a zillion mortgages...but the punching couch therapy may be the way to go on this one. [just my vote]
I believe you can do, yeah the system sucks, but you being a mom in the end will completely outweigh all the crap you are going through now!
Praying for you chick! =]
BIG HUGS AND SMILES!!!
Hang in there!
As Nemo would say, "Just keep swimming, just keep swimming!"
Don't quit! You can do it.
Hugs and Mocha,
Stesha
why would they split you up? you're not adopting with some strange dude.. you're adopting with your HUSBAND! Oh girl, I don't understand this world... you would be a fantastic mommy. Just keep swimming, you'll get through it.
Yaya~
Stay focued, girl, and don't lose sight of the big picture! I understand that the classes aren't fun, and I don't understand why you and your hubby are being separated, BUT, they're getting you one step closer to seeing your dream of becoming a mom realized. Hang on to that with all your might...I KNOW you have it in you to do what needs to be done! Keep the faith and keep on keepin' on!
I hope it gets better for you. Please don't give up on it. I told you about my brother doing the private adoption right? Well, they had to go through all the classes too. It may be different in Texas though. Good luck.
you will get there......
I can only offer my encouragement hugs and support. And tell you what everyone else has and that is that it will be worth it to hug your child.
I know. You are absolutely right. It seems that the most undeserving people in the world are squirting out babies as if they were guppies.
You hang in there, though. The stinkier the sh#t, the more beautiful the flower. Try to remember that as those losers are making you crawl through it.
It will be soooo worth it when you are holding that warm, soft bundle and smelling that sweet, peach-fuzz head.
I can get on my soap box about adoption & how hard they make it on people who just want to love on a child that has no one to love them... ugh!
Hang in there chick. Keep your eye on the prize!
I am sorry you have to go through this junk. When I have to do something like that, I pretend that I am writing about it to someone (like in a blog, for instance!) Describe it in your head as you go. If that doesn't work, just keeping telling the jack ass that you think he should shift his paradigm. That also works.
Good luck and hang in there!
That really does suck! It stinks that you know too much. As a wise old person once told me, "ignorance is bliss". Hang in there, think of as your labor pains.
Oh wow you guys look so HAPPY!! I am sorry that you have to do those classes. I think you have to do them any route you go. I am not sure though!
when upon life's journey, whatever be your goal, keep your eye upon the donut and not upon the hole. Easier said than done...especially when the "holes" are a bunch of A-holes!!! too bad they don't make crappy parents take classes!
I have 2 friends who both went through the adoption process. The one told me that she had to remember this saying, "Adoption means you grow in your mommy's heart instead of her tummy." She kept that mental image at the forefront of it all, and it really helped her to get through. Honestly, I have no idea how it would be. All I can give is words of encrouagement. Oh - here is one thing I can offer... when I do my own "punch-the-couch" therapy, I often picture myself smacking my Ex's nuts with a metal baseball bat. Works wonders...
Hang in there! You can do it! You can do it! I wish there was another way...it does frustrate me to no end that there are lots of women/girls having babies that don't even want them.
((hugs))
Emma sent me! Just wanted to say I will keep you in my prayers. I can feel by reading your blog how agiated you must be. Hang in there.
ugh. this kills me. what is totally RIDICULOUS is that idiots who know nothing about parenting are popping them out at the f-ing time.
just know, you guys will be extra - AWESOME parents. hang in there.
It's all happening for a reason. Yeah, I hate that phrase too. Someday... stay positive. Although I have two children, it took us a LONG time for the 2nd one (12 years to be exact). I know the feeling of wanting something that you are be denied of. My thoughts are with you.
I hate hearing this, you will someday look back at this and laugh, while you are hugging your child.
I hope you can make it through.
You can do it. Stick with it. You'd never forgive yourself if you gave up before you finished the class. No matter what...just finish the class.
emmap sent me. can you take a notebook to the classes with you? whenever i used to get bored or irritated at a class or teacher i would write things down. usually for my own benefit, but sometimes other people would see my comments and chuckle in agreement. i totally know what you mean about people who think they know what they are talking about! i used to be one of them. well, i hope i "used to be". just write down your frustrations at them too. that was you get it out during class without any big blowups during the class. just some thoughts. take them or leave them.
I'm sorry the class hasn't been going well. It might be worth it to stick it out though. I don't understand either why sometimes the most undeserving people have baby after baby with no problem, and then the most deserving, worthy people in the world can't have kids.
those types of people make me want to scream as well. I can't even look at them they annoy me so so much.
Keep it up. You can do it. It is just so have another option open to you.
those types of people make me want to scream as well. I can't even look at them they annoy me so so much.
Keep it up. You can do it. It is just so have another option open to you.
You can do it. It'll all be worth it. You know that. :)
Ooo, my friend, I will be praying for you. It's ashame that adoption couldn't be easier. So once you are done with the classes do they give you a certificate to say you are a good parent? What happens if you fail the class?(I'm asking sarcastically). I'm definately following cause I want to see you have or have your baby.
So sorry you have to go through the B.S. classes. Look at it this way; one day you will be able to read this post and laugh, with your daughter or son :) Hang in there...
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