I haven't written a 'serious' post in awhile, so let me indulge:
Years of infertility, followed by years of miscarriages. Can you imagine what this does to someone's spirit? Someone's marriage? Someone's whole existence? Inside I'm broken. I feel like a failure. I feel like something is wrong with me and I'm not supposed to be a mother, when that is the only thing I want in life.
Often times I let these thoughts consume me. They overwhelm me. They take me to this faraway place where I detach from the real world to mask my pain. In these times I still have my husband, Josh. He's there to pull me back, to remind me that our life together is worth everything. That having each other is 'Enough'.
He always sees The Real Me.
(by Natalie Grant)
16 comments:
Oh you are so welcome for the song.
And I'm with the Hubs on thinking your pretty awesome. We all just adore the real you.
Awww. {{{{hugs}}}}
came to your blog from SITS. i struggled with secondary infertility due to endometriosis and ended up with a hysterectomy at 30 years old. i will pray that your dream of motherhood comes true.
You're not a failure and you're not broken hon. I'm glad Josh is there to remind you of that and know that I'm here to remind you too.
(P.S. Questions are up if you want to play along.)
Ahh..*tears* That got me right in the heart! I've heard that song a million times but never actually read/saw the words. You know I can totally relate to your feelings. (((HUGS)))
(And did you know that Natalie Grant suffers from infertility, too? She has twin girls - Bella & Gracie - that I believe she conceived through IVF.)
(another side note. N.G. used to be in the same choir as my husband and me -before she was famous- and she used to babysit my husband and his sibs. her family still goes to the same church as my inlaws.)
Okay....*tears*. Tears because I have no idea what you feel, but my heart breaks for you. Tears because that song reminds me that's how God sees me, and I'm encourages that he's making me into a "perfect tapistry". Lord, bless this blogger SiTSta and encourage her today!!!! Amen!
My prayers are with you during this time of you wanting to be a mother! **Hugs** :)
I pray one day you will get what you so truly want.
Alicia,
1) I'm crying for you right now. :(
2) That beautiul song gave me chills!
3) I would give anything in the world to make you feel better and I know I can't. I wish I could, though!!!
4) As I have told you in the past, I love you like you were my little sister!! :)
Love,
Jeanne
I'm stopping by from SITS! That's a beautiful song and I will send my prayers your way!
I am sending prayers your way... and I am going to start following your blog because I know that good things are coming your way and I don't want to miss your journey.
Keep your strong chin up and God bless you in this journey!
Hey, I've seen you over at Tattooed Mom's place and always loved your comments there so I wanted to stop by and say hello. You know, I suffered much of what you're going through right now. Several lost pregnancies, a still born and then many, many infertility treatments. I don't know exactly how you feel, because no one knows completely how another person feels, but my heart breaks and hurts for you nonetheless. After years of trying, I just couldn't take being a science experiment any longer. We adopted our two babies in 2004 and again in 2007. For us, that's how we found our family. It's not for everyone, I know, but I just thought I'd share. You can see my adoption posts under the tags Keely and Bailey on my site. Hugs to you.
beautiful song!!
one of my best friends has been where you are now. at 45 her and her husband finally adopted their beautiful daughter from China. She is such a blessing. they see now why they went through everything. it was for HER. they were waiting for her just as she was waiting for them. There is a bigger plan then any of us will ever know. good luck!
You are NOT a failure. Your body is NOT a failure. You will become a mother, I have no doubt of that and once you are one, you will be a wonderful one because you are already a wonderful person.
It's important to have those kinds of thoughts though, it's healthy as long as we don't get caught up in them. The real you is so so wonderful, don't ever forget that!
That's a beautiful song and I will send my prayers your way!
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