14-yr-old "Anna"
Today is the due date for our baby that miscarried 7 months ago. We believe he was a boy, based on his heartbeat, and we named him "Finn". To honor Finn we planted a tree today. It is a Fireglow Japanese Maple. It's just a baby tree right now, so it will be our representation of our Baby Finn growing up. I also wrote a letter to Finn and buried it with the tree, but I've decided not to publish the letter. Here is a poem I found on the ivillage board today (Thanks Amber).
What Makes A Mother?
I thought of you and closed my eyes
and prayed to God today
I asked "What makes a Mother?"
and I know I heard Him say
"A Mother has a baby"
This we know is true
"But, God, can you be a Mother
When your baby's not with you?"
"Yes, you can" He replied
With confidence in His voice
"I give many women babies
When they leave is not their choice
Some I send for a lifetime
And others for a day
And some I send to feel your womb
But there's no need to stay"
"I just don't understand this, God
I want my baby here"
He took a breath and cleared His throat
And then I saw a tear
"I wish that I could show you
What your child is doing today
If you could see your child smile
With other children and say
'We go to Earth to learn our lessons
Of love and life and fear
My Mommy loved me oh so much
I got to come straight here.
I feel so lucky to have a Mom
Who had so much love for me
I learned my lesson very quickly
My Mommy set me free
I miss my Mommy oh so much
But I visit her each day
When she goes to sleep
On her pillow's where I lay
I stroke her hair and kiss her cheek
And whisper in her ear
Mommy, don't be sad today
I'm your baby and I'm here'
"So you see my dear sweet one
Your children are okay
Your babies are in My home
And this is where they'll stay
They'll wait for you with Me
Until our lesson is through
And on the day that you come home
They'll be at the gates for you
So now you see what makes a Mother
It's the feeling in your heart
It's the love you had so much of
Right from the very start
Though some on Earth may not realize
you are a Mother
Until their time is done
They'll be up here with Me one day
And know you're the best one!"
Author unknown
5 comments:
i love the tree and the angel! i think it is a very special way to commemorate the day. maybe to recognize the most recent m/c you could buy a bench to put near the tree. it would be a nice place to remember those beautiful angels.
I was thinking about you today and hoped you were getting through the day.
Planting a tree is such a great idea. You can go sit out by it and talk to Angel baby Finn whenever you feel the need too.
The poem is so beautiful, I'm sure your letter was even more so.
Hugs to you.
ps I'm in love with the name Finn, I'm a Law & Order: SVU fan and have always thought that was the coolest name for a little boy. I bet your angel baby does the "rockstar" fingers all the time since he must be on the coolest!
thinking of you today, you are one of the best moms out there. xoxoxo
I am so sorry for your loss! The tree is such a great idea. sending you a big bloggy hug across the ocean.
it's hard to type with tears running down my face. I think I needed that this morning - even though for me it's been a little over 10 years I think that's one of the most appropriate poems to put words to something that truly beyond expression.
hugs for you! (and thanks)
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