Now ya do!
Monday, September 15, 2008
Where's My Happy Ending?
I remember now that there are absolutely NO resources for women going through miscarriage. Or, I should say, there are no helpful books for women going through miscarriage. There are awesome message boards (like ivillage!) for women going through a miscarriage, but the choices of books or articles is irritating. I'll read an article, or someone's true life experience, or a book and at the end I want to throw it through the window. I'll be reading it and thinking, 'Yes! That's how I feel!' and then *BAM* they end it with a "happy ending". They have a beautiful baby. Or they found God. Or SOMETHING managed to get them through to have this wonderful ending full of rainbows and sunshine. Well, that's not how it is in my eyes. I don't have a happy ending. So these types of readings irritate me beyond belief. Why can't there just be resources out there for women like me? True resources that simply say, 'This is how it is and it sucks'. Not resources that make you think they understand but they don't really understand because they got their happy ending...
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3 comments:
Alicia,
I can't imagine how frustated you must be... I'm so sorry.
Would it be helpful to focus on message boards that you DID find helpful previously... rather than searching for an appropriate book right now --- since that hasn't been helpful in the past??
Rather than try to find a book that doesn't have a "happy ending" (and getting upset when you can't find such a book), maybe you can find more support talking with others going through similar experiences who do not have the "happy ending"??
I know no one can "fix" things but maybe using the message boards you HAVE found comforting previously would be most helpful now??
Jeanne
Wow, I am so sorry for what you are going through. Thanks for stopping by.
I completely agree with you on the resources. I have read many books and found that I typically find comfort in them but have a sense of wonder if that is really how my story will turn out.
Oh man, I totally hear you. I've had the same issue with infertility books, too. I think I've only come across one book that didn't have the obligatory "golly gee, it all worked out in the end and now I have 3 kids-- including an 'oops' baby!" ending.
It also makes me mad when my friends (who know about my recurrent losses) tell me about their cousin so-and-so who's had some ghastly amount of supposed miscarriages, but still has 2 kids. Why is that supposed to make me feel good or hopeful? Grrrr.
So sorry about what you're going through. There's just no way around it -- it sucks. Sending lots of healing thoughts your way!
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